BREAKING NEWS – Santa Clara, California – The San Francisco 49ers announced they have signed Jimmy Garoppolo to a five-year contract extension through the 2022 season. Sources confirmed to ESPN the deal is for $137.5 million, including $86.4 million guaranteed in the first three years, making it the largest three-year total in NFL history. According to the police, within a few hours of the announcement, Garoppolo had to take out a restraining order against Colin Kaepernick who was at the newly signed quarterback’s front door, shouting, “That’s my money! That’s my money!” San Francisco general manager John Lynch made it clear that the franchise’s top priority entering the offseason would be getting Garoppolo locked in for the long haul. Al Sharpton commented on the signing, stating, “They treated Kaepernick like a sharecropper and they treat Garoppolo like a slave owner. And in regards to the racist general manager, is ‘Lynch’ his last name or nickname?”
