BREAKING NEWS – Dover, Delaware – Delaware State University has announced that it is banning snowball fights, water guns, and super soakers, out of concern that they could present “potential harm” to students. According to Fox 6, which first reported the ban, violators could face punishment including “warnings, reprimands, community service, fines, or disciplinary probation.” The university reluctantly continued to allow the cafeteria on campus to put ice cubes in glasses of water, but only after the employees have completed a course regarding the dangers of hypothermia.