BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – Louis Farrakhan said he was extremely disappointed that he couldn’t speak at Aretha Franklin’s funeral. “This was a lost opportunity,” said the Nation of Islam Leader. “I don’t think it was fair to deny me the opportunity to criticize Jews and white people on national tv. Even though Bill Clinton was there, I don’t think he would’ve minded, because earlier in the day, he told me he would do anything if I woulds set him up with a couple of young attractive Muslim women.”