BREAKING NEWS – Seattle, Washington – Amazon drivers are forced to pee in bottles, break the speed limit and face intimidation from bosses to get their deliveries out in time, it has been claimed. Drivers across the U.S. have revealed the shocking pressures placed on their shoulders by courier firms working for the online giant. Others complained of missed wages, being unable to stop for food and having to break traffic laws to get the packages out on time. CEO Jeff Bezos addressed the issues at a press conference. “Customer service is now and will always be a top priority. As far as peeing in bottles, I put an immediate stop of that. And now all drivers have been mandated to wear Depends, that we deduct from their pay, which also explains the missing wages. As far as speeding, we have fewer and fewer drivers hitting people at crosswalks. And the people that do get run over, receive free shipping on items they purchase from us for 30 days, 60 days if they are in a coma.”