BREAKING NEWS – London, England – Activists — including high-profile British actor Dominic West — are encouraging the producers of the popular James Bond franchise to abandon 007’s traditional roots and cast a transgender individual as the next Bond. Speaking to the Sunday Times of London, West claimed that there are enough transgender individuals in the UK’s military to justify making the next MI6 agent male-to-female. West further explained, “We feel the next James Bond should be able to fight bad guys with fists and high tech gadgets, while applying to himself, lipstick and eyeliner.”