BREAKING NEWS – The Weather Channel is now warning people nationwide to remain indoors because the heat wave has now turned deadly. Numerous reports from every major city reflect that people are literally melting while walking outside, and being reduced to what witnesses describe as a “puddle of pudding”. Doctors and scientists state that the ethnicity of the people is fairly easy to determine based on the pudding-like appearance. Blacks/African Americans are chocolate, whites are vanilla, and Asians and Latinos are different variations of butterscotch.