BREAKING NEWS – Vatican City, Italy – Pope Francis I, in a message delivered from the Vatican, took aim at conservative Catholics, warning that “rigidity” in living out the Christian faith was turning people away, and that the church must adapt to a post-Christian west. “Today we are no longer the only ones that produce culture, no longer the first nor the most listened to,” Francis told the prelates. “So I am now suggesting that bibles become regional. For example in the United States, we should modify all Catholic bibles to fit the culture and the region, such as we should have different versions of the bible in America’s east, south, Midwest, and west. It should also vary from city to city, for instance murder should be wrong in Billings, Montana but in Chicago, it shouldn’t be a sin due to those citizens ‘survival of the fittest” mindset.”