BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has sparked some backlash after a spokesperson for the animal rights organization called the term “pet” derogatory, claiming that it patronizes the animal.

On the daytime television program “Good Morning Britain,” Jennifer White of PETA attempted to explain the group’s position on the word “pet,” and suggested it should be switched with “more inclusive” terms like “companion” and “human carer.” White went on to say that if someone buys a dog to guard their home, and then later purchases a security system, they should be legally bound to pay the canine, unemployment.