BREAKING NEWS – South Bend, Indiana – Mayor Pete Buttigieg announces that he is getting out the race, seeking the democratic nomination. “It’s a difficult decision, yet an easy one,” he explained. “I am getting almost zero support from the black community due to my sexual orientation. And I am getting very little support from the LBGTQ community, because they accuse me of spending an excessive amount of time with straight people. But the bottom line is, it’s personal. I am leaving because I have become increasingly depressed when my husband calls me, upset that he has to cry alone watching some emotional scenes from movies on the Lifetime Channel.”
