BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Anxious to get this potential career ending sexual assault allegation behind him, Joe Biden is now offering to take a polygraph, but only under certain conditions. “I am willing to go out on a limb to prove my innocence,” Biden emphatically stated. “To once and for all prove that I am telling the truth, I will take the lie detector test, as long as I can administer it myself in the privacy of my own home. And once that is done, I will analyze the graph, draw an objective conclusion, and mail the results out to all interested parties.”
