BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A newly published study notes that Andean condors are able to fly more than 100 miles without flapping their wings once.
The research, published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, notes the birds, which can weigh more than 30 pounds, are extremely efficient at using their pre-flight and initial flapping when they first start flying. Once they reach the height they wish to, it’s relatively stress-free, because the Andean condor actually flaps its wings for one per cent of its flight time.
“It’s basically a very lazy bird,” explained the PNAS. “It always tries to use very little effort to go from point A to point B. It’s nature’s version of an unmotivated worthless bum… on the same level as today’s Millennials.”