PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
BREAKING NEWS – Topton, Pennsylvania – An entire classroom of students from Brandywine Heights Middle School were rushed to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped. In this computer age, the students never seen or heard of crayons, and when they were given to them by a teacher, they ate them assuming it was some type of tubular candy.