BREAKING NEWS – Paris, France – Virus patients now occupy more than half of France’s intensive care units, and some doctors are urging tougher restrictions after another record jump in confirmed infections. Infections disease expert warns France has ‘lost control’ of coronavirus pandemic.

Dr. Jean-Francois Delfraissy, head of the government’s virus advisory body, expressed surprise at the “brutality” of the rise, after more than 52,000 new cases were reported.

“Will we ultimately surrender to the disease?” asked Delfraissy at a press conference. “If we cling to our heritage, yes we will. We quickly surrendered in both World Wars, so we’re not about to abandon our century long tradition. It is a well established fact that France is not good at fighting wars or diseases. And until this pandemic is under control, we’ll continue to quarantine people all over this nation, in the wine cellar of their choice.”