BREAKING NEWS – Oklahoma City, Oklahoma – Bagging Bigfoot is something Upstaters Gary Robusto and Paul Bartholomew can’t imagine doing.

Not that they don’t believe the 7-foot-tall, hairy, manlike creature exists. But they’re committed to protecting the elusive beast — for the sake of science — especially when others want to put a bounty on his head.

Oklahoma state Rep. Justin Humphrey filed a measure that calls on the state conservation department to set an annual hunting season to coincide with a Bigfoot fest in his southeastern district, complete with licenses. He wants a $25,000 bounty for the first to nab Sasquatch alive.

“Of course we should want it alive,” explained Humphrey. “My concern is the $1 million bounty to have it killed. And the people who are putting up the cash is Nike, because they are angry that Bigfoot continues to refuse to endorse any of their shoes.”