BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Iranian foreign minister Mohammad Javad Zarif claimed in recently leaked audio that John Kerry, when he was serving as Secretary of State during the Obama administration, informed him of more than 200 Israeli operations in Syria.
Kerry has previously been accused of colluding with Iranian leaders to undermine the Trump administration and by by revealing that Israel had attacked Iranian targets in Syria more than 200 times, according to leaked audio obtained by The New York Times and other outlets.
“Ok I squealed, so what?” stated Kerry. “Let me clear on my motive. I have a problem with the bible constantly mentioning Israel, and the bible rarely mentioning Iran. Who’s idea was that? Someone should be held to account because it’s not fair. I know the bible mentions Persia which is ancient Iran, but those references were exclusively to cats and rugs… I think. I even have a problem with the bible completely snubbing my home state Massachusetts, and the closest the book came to it, was in Revelation when it talks about a church in Pennsylvania.”