BREAKING NEWS – Cambridge, Massachusetts – Harvard University’s organization of chaplains is getting a new president to coordinate the campus’ religious communities. Only the new president, 44-year-old Greg Epstein, does not identify with any of those traditional religions himself, because he is an atheist.
“I never read a bible,” explained Epstein. “But considering that about 2000 years ago, there wasn’t any higher education comparable to the Ivy League, I think I could probably match wits with God, based on my past very high grade point average. I am going to create something on campus that will impress a lot of people, and I never heard about the God of the bible ever creating anything.”