BREAKING NEWS – Ottawa, Ontario, Canada – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that his government is introducing legislation to “implement national freeze on handgun ownership” throughout the country.

“What this means is that it will no longer be possible to buy, sell, transfer, or import handguns anywhere in Canada,” Trudeau said at a press conference. “We recognize that the vast majority of gun owners use them safely and in accordance with the law, but there is no reason anyone in Canada should need guns in their everyday lives. To further reduce the violence in this nation, we’re also going to ban people that have been charged with domestic battery, from buying hockey sticks.”