PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
BREAKING NEWS – Sacramento, California – California Gov. Gavin Newson signed a bill that decriminalizes jaywalking, allowing pedestrians to cross the street away from intersection without being ticketed. He initially added expressways, but the city morgue was quickly burdened with too many unclaimed body parts.