BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Tyson Foods Inc. became the latest large company to announce its departure from Chicago, continuing a trend in the city that many have argued is the result of the city’s skyrocketing rate of violent crime and threatens to do harm to its most vulnerable populations.
“You’re talking about a situation where you have a hollowed out economy, where you have businesses leaving, there are no jobs,” stated the Heritage Foundation.
Mayor Lori Lightfoot commented on the latest departure.
“What a bunch of wimps!” she began. “Tyson executives and their employees are afraid of a few stray bullets? Cowards! I don’t like this trend! Tyson apparently has joined other large companies such as Caterpillar and Boeing in leaving Chicago behind. Boeing flew out, Caterpillar crawled out, and now Tyson who sells chicken, has proven they don’t give a cluck about us either!”