BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – National Security Council spokesman John Kirby shot down the popular theory during a White House press briefing Monday. He told reporters that there is no reason for Americans to be concerned about aliens, despite NORAD chief Gen. Glen VanHerck saying he wasn’t taking anything off the table.
“I don’t think the American people need to be worried about aliens. Period,” Kirby responded bluntly. “And I also want to dismiss the rumor that President Biden was abducted and returned by some aliens a few days ago, and the interstellar visitors concluded, that if Biden is best and brightest and the leader of the free world, then they should have no problem invading this planet of idiots.”