BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Sen. John Fetterman of Pennsylvania reflected on his first six months in office in an interview published with the New York Times. He spoke at length about his bout of depression, which kept him working out of a hospital for over a month.

“I’ll never understand it,” began Fetterman. “I don’t know why my wife married me. In the movie ‘Groundhog Day,’ Bill Murray’s character says something like, ‘You think I’m arrogant? No, I don’t even like me.’ That’s me. I don’t even like me. That’s the truth. However, what I dislike even more, are the idiot voters that put me in office. What were those morons thinking?”