BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – New York City Mayor Eric Adams, a Democrat, announced that a new taxpayer-funded location for illegal migrants will be going up in the Big Apple.

The location is… the Statue of Liberty.

“This makes perfect sense,” explained Adams. “The Statue of Liberty is 22 stories tall with plenty of space. The torch can be used to store the immigrant’s jet skis that this city will pay for, so tax payers can save money by not using small yachts to transport them to and from Liberty Harbor. New immigrants in the higher sections will be able to see the beautiful NYC skyline, plus they can charge tourists whatever they want, to come into their home to see the magnificent view.”