BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Postmaster General Patrick R. Donahoe and several of his staff, get arrested for attempting to hire a hit man who was an undercover cop. Since the USPS has lost billions of dollars due to people paying their bills online, emailing letters instead of handwritten correspondences, and sending out ecards for Christmas as well as other holidays, the arrested federal employees planned on assassinating everyone who was involved with inventing the internet.
