BREAKING NEWS – National City, California – Women wearing only “g-strings” while bending over in front of traffic has become an increasingly common sight in National City, California, as prostitution issues spiral after the implementation of a controversial state law.

“They’re waving to people on the freeway or, just to be honest with you, they are bending over for the freeway. I don’t know how else to put it; they’re showing their wares,” said Mayor Ron Morrison. “More than five hundred men have contacted us, and said they are more than happy to monitor the women… at no cost to the city. After doing background checks on all of them, the men are in one of three categories, predators, potential serial killers, and men that simply can’t get a date.”