BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Employees and supervisors at the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) are at the center of a brewing media firestorm after The Wall Street Journal released an in-depth report on the agency’s “party culture.”

“A male Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. supervisor in San Francisco invited employees to a strip club,” The Wall Street Journal revealed in a recent story headlined. “A supervisor in Denver had sex with his employee, and pressed her to drink whiskey during work,” the report continued. “Senior bank examiners texted female employees photos of their penises. The agency tolerated a heavy drinking culture.”

“If you have the money, why not party… even if it’s with the government’s  money,” said one of the five members of the board that oversees the FDIC who chose to remain anonymous. “We should not be expected to have access to a vast amount funds, and not squander some of it for our immoral entertainment.”