BREAKING NEWS – Pyongyang, North Korea – North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un implored women in the East Asian country to have more children and raise them as “communists,” and wept as he delivered the emotional address to an enraptured audience.
“Stopping the decline in birthrates,” Un said, dabbing tears away with a white handkerchief. “We need more children to take the place of the increasing amount of people that I execute and starve to death on a daily basis.”