BREAKING NEWS – Oakland, California – Kaiser Permanente, is reportedly warning its employees to eat inside as crime continues to hurt business across the city.

The warning, based on a memo, told Kaiser employees to stay in their buildings for lunch after a string of robberies affected employees who ate at local businesses.

“Kaiser Permanente is sending the wrong message,” said Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao. “They are a health care provider, so if their employees are harmed from a brutal attack during lunch, Kaiser knows which are the best hospitals to send the employee to, ensuring the highest survival rate based on the inflicted injuries.”