PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
An ex-girlfriend contacted me out of the blue last week, and has invited me over for dinner. I thought she still hated me because of our nasty, bitter break-up. She knows I love Chinese food, so she told me that she will be serving me some shrimp fried ricin. I never heard of that before, but it sounds delicious!