Dear Blake,
I’m 14 years old and I hate school!!! My parents both have college degrees and only made it to the middle class, so I’m unimpressed with diplomas. I want to be a millionaire, not some 9 to 5 workers like my mom and dad. I am about to start my third year of high school, and I failed almost every subject in the past two years. Subjects that have nothing to do with the real world, and I think my teachers idiots that’s wasting my time. I’m probably going to drop out of school soon. My parents seem to be disappointed in me. What do you think?
Signed, Kyle
From Hartford, Connecticut
* * * * * * * *
Dear Kyle,
Teenagers often get frustrated with school and education. The ones that becomes adults that had your mindset, usually become panhandlers, or if you enjoy travelling, a hobo. The only way you will ever become a millionaire is by either winning the lottery, or starting a business that gets the attention the DEA and your local SWAT team. Connecticut consistently has the highest SAT scores in the country. I’m sure your teachers wish there were some interstate deportation laws there, where you can be sent to countless other parts of this country where stupidity is acceptable and often coddle to. I’m pretty sure that if your parents knew you would turn out this way, as soon as you exited your mother’s womb, she would’ve gotten dressed, sprinted out of the hospital with your father, while both of them diligently prayed for your unfortunate eventual adoptive parents. But since the past cannot be changed, this is what I suggest your mom and dad do if they are reading this. As soon as the clock strikes midnight and you’re finally 18, they should call a locksmith, and then to immediately let loose a pitbull, that they have been secretly training to equate your body to a chew toy. I hope this helps.
Blake