PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
I was hungry yesterday, so I went to Subway to get something to eat. After looking at the large variety of meats and other toppings, I asked the cashier “what’s the length of the footlongs?” She gave me a discontented look and then held up her middle finger. I’m assuming that gesture meant “one foot”, but I can’t say for sure.