I recently found out that you can contract the coronavirus through paper money. I was told this by some man that I met on the streets when I was downtown. He told me that he has some special disinfectant that will kill the virus on all bills. All I had to do, was go to the bank, withdraw all of my money, and he will clean it for free. I was so excited and felt lucky, so I went to the bank, withdrew it all, and gave it to him. His services must be in high demand, because he was supposed to call me back a couple of days ago to return my sanitized cash, but apparently there is a heavy backlog.
