COMMENTARY: Absolutely! The New England Journal of Medicine has documented case after case, proving that unborn babies (squatters) that go passed their due date are […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Just like Native Americans, do you think hillbillies should be given special rights? Such as giving them immunity from liquor laws when they make their own moonshine, or maybe marry any cousin that they want?
COMMENTARY: I still have no idea why Tennessee, Kentucky, and West Virginia were admitted into the union.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Between the west coast, the Midwest, and the east coast, which region generally speaking has the most thugs?
COMMENTARY: Because I was born and raised in Chicago, I have to say the Midwest. The extensive contributions that my friends and relatives have made […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think the grim reaper should be allowed to sue someone in small claims court if the person “cheated death?”
COMMENTARY: According to the ACLU, yes. They would argue that judicially speaking, even residents from the pit of hell are entitled to equal protection under […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think if a mother-to-be has an unborn child that is constantly kicking her, should she have the right to file assault charges?
COMMENTARY: I don’t have a problem with the child getting arrested immediately after being born. But I would have a problem with a policeman using […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you knew it would save you a lot of money on eyeglasses, hats, make-up, etc, would you allow your head to be shrunken by some primitive people from a remote tribe in South America if you knew it wouldn’t kill you?
COMMENTARY: I personally know of some people that even if they agreed to do this, their brain could remain in its original size and still […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think it will be a lot more compassionate, if when God tossed people into hell, instead of having them initially endure the maximum heat, He gradually turned it up only 500 degrees per day until it reached the hottest temperature
COMMENTARY: Considering that’s the way everyone preheats an oven, it sounds reasonable to me (as long as I’m on the outside looking in).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose a married couple with a long criminal past has a baby. Do you think it will be a good idea to keep the child in their play pen as much as possible, since statistically speaking, he/she will more than likely end up in prison and should try to get used to it an early age?
COMMENTARY: Last week in the news, a six year was arrested for pistol whipping a classmate with a water gun. So getting kids accustomed to […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a law, that if a person carjacked a vehicle and returned it within 48 hours with a full tank of gas, all charges must be dropped?
COMMENTARY: I would add that the car would also have to be washed, and the interior vacuumed. This way, car thieves won’t be getting off […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you respect a politician that did not lie, cheat, and steal?
COMMENTARY: Personally, I would not respect him/her. It’s almost like they’re saying that they are better than everyone else, and that kind of arrogance is […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – How many dead people in Chicago do you think will vote in November’s election?
COMMENTARY: I’m predicting a high zombie turnout, due to the fact that many may qualify for ObamaCare.
Wacky Weekend Questions – I recently gave myself some bad advice and I’m serious thinking about suing myself. Will the courts allow me to do that?
COMMENTARY: I’m thinking about representing myself in court too. I hope I can afford my legal fees. (Yeah, I got issues).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think people will have internet access in hell?
COMMENTARY: If they do, people will literally be getting “hot” mail.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Should dwarfs that are doctors, be allowed to perform surgery from a highchair?
COMMENTARY: I suppose that would be ok. But I would have a problem with a dwarf being an obstetrician. They can get a hernia from […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think doctors should be allowed to put patients in medically induced comas, until their panicking family members acquires the necessary insurance coverage that will secure their release?
COMMENTARY: As long as their medical bill doesn’t include storage fees, it sounds reasonable to me.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose your former friends or relatives were able to call you on the phone from hell. Would you feel guilty if they were screaming about the heat, while you happen to be sipping on a Slurpee?
COMMENTARY: I would tell them I was drinking some hot cocoa. In my opinion, that’s more compassionate.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Ladies, suppose you went past your due date for your child to be born. How would you feel if your child refused to come out, unless you agreed to his/her list of demands that they handed out to your doctor on the delivery table?
COMMENTARY: It would be even worst if the unborn child also found a way to barricade themselves in.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Is it possible to have a romantic evening in front of a fireplace, if you’re in hell?
COMMENTARY: If they had a dating service down there, it will probably be called “Matches.com”. (What did you expect? The question itself was idiotic).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Ladies, how would you feel, if while getting an ultrasound, you saw your unborn child flashing gang signs?
COMMENTARY: What would even be more disturbing, is while in the womb, the baby is seen holding some stolen merchandise. What the…
Wacky Weekend Questions – How would you feel if while boarding a plane, you overheard the pilot say to a stewardess, that he smokes marijuana to calm his nerves during in flight turbulence?
COMMENTARY: If I also saw a crack pipe sticking out of his shirt pocket, I’d probably switch airlines (unless I had a window seat).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you remove your child from a preschool, if many of their classmates regularly carried a set of brass knuckles in their lunchboxes?
COMMENTARY: I would remove them out if they often came home with blood stains in their clothes that didn’t easily wash out. That’s where I […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Even though the deal didn’t go through, should I hold it against my parents, because when I was six years old, they tried to sell me to a travelling band of gypsies?
COMMENTARY: Subconsciously, maybe this is why as an adult, I don’t like Italian food… or my parents.
Wacky Weekend Questions – As long as everyone remained in their seats with their safety belts on, would you have a problem with commercial jets being modified, so that passengers could roll the windows down during the flight?
COMMENTARY: Personally, I’m fine with this. But I would hope that the airlines would not allow people to let their dogs hang their heads out […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If someone remarries their former spouse, should the state and federal government revoke their driver’s licenses and voting privileges, because it appears they do not have the ability to think rationally?
COMMENTARY: And, to insure that this mindset isn’t perpetuated in any household, forced sterilization is also an option that should be seriously considered.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think it will hurt dealerships if they go ahead with their plans starting next year, mandating that people will have to pass a basic I.Q. test before being allowed to buy a Smart Car?
COMMENTARY: No doubt, that people who went to a public school will allege that they are flagrantly being discriminated against.
Wacky Weekend Questions – According to the bible in Revelation 21:21, the street in heaven will be made of gold. If you get there, will you be embarrassed if you never really learned how to parallel park?
COMMENTARY: On the other hand at least up there, if someone dings your vehicle with their car door, they’ll be honest enough to admit to […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think it would be unlawful for a cop to give an individual a ticket, because they were so ugly, that they stopped traffic?
COMMENTARY: I feel, if a person is really that physically unappealing, they should only be allowed to walk the streets late at night, and or […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a federal law, that would give an exact number of malicious lies a politician could tell while campaigning, before they were legally bound to tell the truth?
COMMENTARY: I have a feeling, only politicians that aren’t planning on running for another term, will support this idea.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose you had a 90 year old grandmother whose husband was verbally abusive to her for more than 70 years. Would you object to her taking kick boxing lessons to get even with your grandfather, if he was in poor health and couldn’t adequately defend himself?
COMMENTARY: If I genuinely tried to talk her out of it and couldn’t, I’d definitely sell tickets.
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you dropped out of school, can you still make an educated guess?
COMMENTARY: I graduated from a high school in Chicago. Unfortunately, their diplomas aren’t recognized in other states (and most parts of Illinois).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Does forcing prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to listen to the voices of any of the Kardashian women, constitute torture as defined by the Geneva Convention?
COMMENTARY: If you force the dangerous misguided terrorists at Guantanamo Bay listen to their voices, within ten minutes, they will be begging to be water […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose the person that you were involved with dumped you, and then told you that they fell in love with someone else who was younger and much more attractive. If they gave you the news as they were walking backwards toward an empty elevator shaft, would you warn them not to take another step, or pull out your camera phone and film their last moments alive?
COMMENTARY: If they didn’t scream as they fell down the elevator shaft, I would probably add that sound effect later, and then post it on […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a law that allow parents to return their newborn babies to the hospital within 90 days, with a full refund of their medical costs, no questions asked?
COMMENTARY: I’m glad this wasn’t a law when I was born, because I would have wound up getting raised by doctors and nurses.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think you should be responsible for your mother’s medical costs, if her back was broken, shortly after you stepped on crack?
COMMENTARY: I wonder if something this ridiculous is covered by ObamaCare.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you spend an extra $100.00 on a new car to get an ejector seat, that could toss passengers in the air up to 40 feet?
COMMENTARY: I would spend the extra money under one condition. And that would be, only if I was still married.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Should pastors that die and go to heaven receive unemployment checks upon their arrival?
COMMENTARY: There are certain televangelists that I don’t think will be up there, because they would try to game the system and get workman’s comp […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Ok women, be honest. What do you prefer that a man does? Lie through his teeth, or lie his butt off?
COMMENTARY: Unfortunately, those are usually the only two options. Sorry.
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you were pretty sure that a loved one that died is going to hell, would you suggest that they get cremated so they could get used to the intense heat?
COMMENTARY: Keep in mind, that if you later feel guilty about cremating them, you can always put some ice cubes in the urn.
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you thought it would make your one week old baby look better in a studio portrait, would you have him/her fitted with a full set of dentures?
COMMENTARY: I could understand hair extensions at that age, but I think dentures might be a bit much.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Suppose you did a background check on someone you were dating and felt you were falling for. Would you end the relationship if you discovered that they had been accused of being a vampire, they never stand in front of a mirror, and you often notice them staring at your neck?
COMMENTARY: If they also graduated from the University of Transylvania, I’ll probably seek a restraining order too.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a law that states that an alleged bank robber could not be prosecuted, unless the bank can prove that the accused thief had no intention of paying the money back in regular installments?
COMMENTARY: Sounds fair to me. And they should also be given the option of filing bankruptcy, to prevent harassing phone calls from banks and or […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What is the maximum sticks of dynamite that can be placed under an ex-spouse’s pillow, where they can still be identified through dental records?
COMMENTARY: If you are a veteran with combat experience, please replace the word “dynamite” in the question, with hand grenades.
Wacky Weekend Questions – How would you feel if you wound up in hell, and down there they had dial up internet service and only basic cable?
COMMENTARY: I think if people knew for sure that was an accurate description of hell, every Sunday, churches would be overflowing with new believers.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you agree with me, that hitting someone in the face with a pie is still pretty funny, or do you feel that my mother has every right to be mad at me and I owe her an apology?
COMMENTARY: The last thing I remember her saying while I was quickly leaving her house was, “How do you turn the safety off on this […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
COMMENTARY: The movie “Bewitched” with Will Ferrell was so bad, that I threw my popcorn on the floor, poured my Coke on top of that […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you feel that three colors in a stoplight are enough?
COMMENTARY: No. Here’s a few more: Blue – Stop texting you idiot!!! Orange – Women put on some make up, so you don’t scare the […]