BREAKING NEWS – Silver Spring, Maryland – Michael Phelps tried to make it clear to his fans that he wouldn’t actually be side-by-side racing a great white shark for Discovery Channel’s “Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs Great White,” but when some viewers saw the final product they slammed the show’s use of CGI for the big race. Oceanographers said it would be impossible for Phelps to win against a real Great White shark, because his top speed is about 6 mph, and the shark’s would’ve been at least 4 times that fast at 25 mph. Olympic track star Usain Bolt referred to Phelps as a “fake, a fraud, and a phony”. Bolt then stated, that if the people wanted to see a real race, to be sure and watch him next month on ESPN, where he’ll be racing on an expressway through a New Mexico desert, the Warner Brothers’ Roadrunner. He said his coach, which is an unnamed coyote, told him that he is confident that he can beat the popular Looney Toon’s character, which has an estimated top speed of about 275 mph. However, the Roadrunner is now threatening to cancel the race, after it was granted a restraining order against Bolt’s coach, to remain at least 500 feet from him when carrying a cookbook.
