BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – California ranks dead last among U.S. states in quality of life, according to a study by U.S. News. The ignominious honor reflects California’s low marks in the sub-categories of environmental quality and social engagement. Californians scored poorly in part because they’re simply insufferable, U.S. News suggested. “In addition to a healthy environment, a person’s quality of life is largely a result of their interactions with those around them,” the magazine wrote. The Los Angeles Times challenged the assessment of U.S. News, saying Californians are very compassionate. And to prove their point, the L.A. Times posted a picture of a homeless man pounding on the window of the newspaper, begging for food. The editor Marc Duvoisin, stated that “People in other states would’ve called the police and had the man removed, yet we didn’t do that, because we Californians have learned to tune out and ignore these types of continuous pleas for nourishment, however, we vigorously condone this raggedy derelict’s right to free speech.”
