Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – According to Homeland Security, teenage female Eskimos are now being heavily recruited by Islamic…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Baltimore, Maryland – A man wearing a surgical mask and sunglasses and dressed as a hedgehog, or…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Arlington, Virginia – Jeh Johnson the director of Homeland Security, has announced that terrorism has now reached…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – CNN’s Carol Costello raised more than a few eyebrows after citing…

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BREAKING NEWS – East Rutherford, New Jersey – After the embarrassing 43-8 loss the Denver Broncos received in the Super…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Department of Homeland Security employee Ayo Kimathi, gets put on paid administrative leave after…

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BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – The science fiction movie “After Earth”, is the latest flop from Tinseltown. Director M….

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Department of Homeland Security has started releasing hundreds of illegal immigrants held in…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Charles Edwards the acting inspector general for the Department of Homeland Security, announces that…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C – Long time special agent James T. Hayes Jr., has filed a federal lawsuit, stating…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – North Pole, Alaska – After a joint investigation by the FAA and Department of Homeland Security, Santa Claus, Rudolph,…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – At Dulles International Airport, the Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano warns all TSA…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano stated at a press conference that she is presently…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The U.S. Department of Homeland Security announces that will now monitor more closely all home…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Homeland Security and the FBI are now investigating Bert from Sesame Street alleging that…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – According to Homeland Security and the FBI, some of the information gleaned from Osama…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – In light of what has happened in Egypt recently and several other middle eastern…

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BREAKING NEWS

  BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After the failed attempt of the Underwear Bomber on Christmas day last year,…

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