Dear Blake,

I have been married now for a year. My husband and I were previously married, and now his three kids and my three kids live together in one house. Here is the issue. When my husband isn’t around, his children are really mean and disrespectful to me. When I’m not around, he has accused my children of the exact same behavior toward him. When we were just dating, there weren’t any problems in our relationship with the kids. In fact, we got a long great! Now there is a dramatic change. Any ideas on how to handle this?

Signed, Cynthia

From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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Dear Cynthia,

Blended families living in the same household are often a magnet for problems. And the dynamics you described, sounds a lot like the Brady Bunch meets Stephen King. Here are some cold hard facts. Step-children are inherently evil and will more than likely be the largest demographic in hell. I would strongly suggest that you get a divorce and go into hiding, or you risk being the subject on NBC’s “Dateline”, that’ll include pixelated images of your head, to hide the damage that a violently swung blunt object did to your lifeless body. It may not be a bad idea to put a metal detector on your bedroom door when you sleep, so you and your husband can have a couple seconds warning of an attack, to make your peace with God. If the kids get along with each other very well, this may be a bad sign, because it increases the possibility that their creative minds can come up with a ruthless plan to rid your home of all “rule-imposing authority figures”. However there is some good news. If you can start some rumors that can create some infighting, maybe you cause them to “eliminate” each other. And whoever is the sole survivor, either put them up for adoption, contact the police informing them of the crimes that were committed, or pack up and move out of town as he or she slinks to school one morning. Also, so the child isn’t homeless, leave on the front door the address of a local animal shelter. I hope this helps.