BREAKING NEWS – Pyeongchang, South Korea – A Canadian women’s hockey player apparently unhappy with winning a silver medal after being defeated by the U.S. team abruptly took off the medal during the ceremony after the game. The Canadians, who had pushed the Americans around for much of the game and taken penalties for it, wept on the ice as they accepted their silver medals. Jocelyne Larocque took hers off immediately and held it in her hands as the Americans stood nearby awaiting their gold. “It’s just hard,” Larocque said. “You work so hard. We wanted gold but didn’t get it, and I still think we should get it.” She began to cry and shout as she spoke unable to suppress her rage. “And I hope Prime Minister Trudeau floods America’s northern border with illegal aliens, until those bubbleheaded Yankees are willing to swap medals, and apologize for trying to disrupt our national religion!”
