BREAKING NEWS – Fort Lauderdale, Florida – If you haven’t paid your parking tickets you may soon have a face-to-face with “the Barnacle.” The yellow monstrosity, which latches on to the windshield and blocks the driver’s view, rendering the car undriveable. The device is an an opaque piece of plastic held in place by two suction cups and 750 pounds of force — making it nearly impossible for a driver to drive away, even if they think they can cleverly stick their head out of the window. However, the inventors of the Barnacle openly admit that their creation will have no affect on drivers that happened to be giraffes in a convertible.
