Dear Blake,

I have a very dear friend who has a father in his 80’s. Lately, I have noticed that her dad is becoming more and more “forgetful”. I am worried because he still has a driver’s license and drives every day. I am very afraid that one day he will get lost. She is also concerned about this, but does not know what to do. I hear you are a problem solver. What are your thoughts on this issue?

Signed, Tonya

From Anchorage, Alaska

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Dear Tonya,

Your concerns about his increasing lack of memory are completely justified. On the other hand, if his ability to recall continues to deteriorate and in the distant past he was an undesirable father, it’s an easy way to be rid of him. If your friend really wants to keep track of him, put a dog shock collar him that zaps anytime he wanders more ten feet from their house. Or how about this, by him a stationary bike he can pedal, and every few minutes hold up a 24 x 36 poster in front of him, of different locations around your neighborhood, that would trick him into believing that he is going places. And if you want have a good laugh and scare him at the same time, hold up a picture that will make him believe he is pedalling down a street at night, on the southside of Chicago. However the fact is, he is a grown man that can come and go as he pleases. So because he lives in Alaska, do not be surprised if he is gone for days during the winter and no one knows where he is. But there’s no need to worry, because his frozen body will be eventually located. Just look for some vultures flying over him that are wearing earmuffs and mittens. I hope this helps.