BREAKING NEWS – Forth Worth, Texas – Televangelist Kenneth Copeland, who has been recently investigated by the U.S. Senate, finally responds to criticism of his lavish lifestyle. Copeland made it clear that he would not comment on why he lives in a 18,000 square foot mansion, which has spectacular water views and comes with a boat house, and an airport he had built next to his home he named after himself.

He did state that reason why he has a fleet of planes, including several private jets, is so he could ascend as high as possible. Thus when he relays the prayers from his devout followers to God, “He” will hear them sooner because he is geographically closer to heaven. Calling Copeland’s explanation “idiotic” and “ridiculous” were all Christians in the FAA.