BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul will be campaigning for the next couple of weeks while on crutches after falling and twisting his ankle right after taping a segment of CBS’s “Face the Nation”. The accident happened when he was taking a photo with democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, and he stumbled off of the two NYC telephone books he was standing on to appear to be taller. A spokesman for his office said Paul plans to use this incident to try to garnish the “clumsy dwarf vote”.