BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – News outlets across America are now reporting a secret meeting that happened last night between Hillary Clinton, Marco Rubio, and Ted Cruz. Rubio asked Clinton to help him to pass a law that would go into affect ASAP, which will mandate that any republican presidential nominee must win in Minnesota, which is the state he finally won. Cruz had the exact same position regarding Texas. Clinton said she will seriously consider their requests, providing that one of them helps her pass a law that calls for the immediate imprisonment and execution of all FBI agents that investigate any female democratic candidate during an election year.
