BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Congressman Anthony Weiner’s wife Huma Abedin finally returns home from Africa with thier new pet. District Attorney Cyrus R. Vance is presently trying to determine if they are going to file charges against Huma, because after she entered their apartment with a well trained hungry lion, she tried to force Anthony to put on one of his suits that had a pork chop tied to the front zipper.