A couple of weeks ago, my 17-year-old daughter broke up with “Matt,” her boyfriend of a year and seven months. My husband and I are sad because Matt had become a part of our family. We included him in vacations and holidays with us. We also became friends with his parents and shared a couple of holidays with them.
I have not communicated with them since the breakup, and I feel horrible. I’m not sure what’s proper etiquette in this situation. Should I reach out to Matt’s mom or just leave it alone? I don’t have hard feelings toward them, but then again, my daughter broke up with Matt and not vice versa. Let me know what you think?
From Boston, Massachusetts
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I hope Matt is doing ok after the break-up. And it’s possible his parents don’t think your daughter believe that they are as worthless as their son, who was kicked to the curb and probably run over from both sides of traffic. Anyway, here are some options you may want to consider. Tell Matt’s parents that you still want to hang out with them, and your daughter concluding that their son is a loser should not have any affect on two adult couples socializing. You can call Matt and explain to him that teenage boys get dumped all the time, and probably all of his male friends has experienced the same public humiliation, so he should consider using them for emotional support. You could have your daughter contact Matt, and for her to explain to him why he was too far beneath her standards to continue the relationship. And lastly, if Matt is still hurting toward the end of the year, invite him over for a Christmas Eve dinner. And make sure he sits right across from your daughter… who is sitting next to her smarter and better-looking new boyfriend. I hope this helps.