Dear Blake,

I am a 9-year-old girl. Right now I don’t do chores or get an allowance, but I want to. How should I ask my parents? And how much money should I ask for?

Signed, Mona
From Springfield, Illinois

*                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *

Dear Mona,

I am very impressed that child of your age is willing to work for money. However, there’s an easier way to extract cash from your parents, with by doing little to nothing. Here are some ideas. Start behaving in a manner so irritating, that your parents are willing to pay you to hang out with your friends, just to get you out of the house and away from them. Or, you can request that your parents start giving you money for chores, or they risk you making regular visits to local pawn shops… with their possessions. Or this idea. If you have siblings, start a union. Contact the Teamsters or the AFLCIO, and they can suggest some tactics to gouge every penny you can from your parents/management. And lastly, your question. How much allowance should you ask for? That depends on your parent’s income and savings. However if you can get hold of their recent tax returns, and their pin number for the ATMs and send them to me, I can assist you a lot better with a plan that will be mutually beneficial… for both of us. I hope this helps.