My husband and I have been married for 40 years, and we’ve had our ups and downs. My problem is, he frequently talks about the girls he knew before me. He describes them all in glowing terms — gorgeous, perfect body, beautiful hair, well-endowed and on and on. It makes me feel self-conscious and inadequate.
Add to this he is short-tempered with me. He constantly finds fault with the way I do things and speaks to me harshly. When I told him how it made me feel, his answer was that I was “sick in the head.” He won’t listen or acknowledge that he has a part in the problem. Where do I go from here?
From Portland, Oregon
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Making indirect comparisons to you is insensitive and uncaring. In my opinion, the only reasonable thing to do is for you talk about past boyfriends… even if you have to make them up. Here are some suggestions. Tell your husband that if he is ever with you, and you happen to meet one of you ex-boyfriends, to act as if he’s he is your grandfather, because you think he has aged so terribly. Or, find a picture of you with an ex, and ask your husband would he be willing to start going to a gym, so he can try to look half as nice your high school sweetheart… that you fantasize about, nightly. Ask him why did his past girlfriends dump him, or was dating “losers” the popular thing to do way back then. And as far as him stating that you being “sick in the head”, use that insult to your advantage. Have him to say that around witnesses, so they can testify at your trial to enhance your insanity plea, long after your worthless spouse has been lowered into the ground… thanks to you and a Louisville Slugger. I hope this helps.