Dear Blake,
I am a multimillionaire, and I have a teenage son that is a major disappointment. We send him to a private school, but he regularly cuts classes just to hang out with his hoodlum friends. All he wants to do is play video games and party. I am at my wits end. What should do?
Signed, Harrington
From Atlanta, Georgia
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Dear Harrington,
It is very common for teenagers to go through a psychological change where they question authority. To counter that, I think that you and all parents should play hardball with their worthless offspring. I’ll give you a few suggestions. Invite your family attorney over for dinner. And during the meal while your son is eating. sign some paperwork right in front of him that legally cuts him out of your will. Follow that with a swift gesture, snatching your son’s plate away from him, explaining that unless he’s prepared to pay for the meal at a current rate of a restaurant plus the gratuity, to get out! Hopefully weeks or months from now, he’ll come back raggedy, smelly, infested with lice, begging to be allowed have his old room back. Because of your wealth, you could easily hire an “enforcer” that can beat him within an inch of his life if you let him come home, and he later screws up again. And if your wife objects to your tactics, ask the enforcer if he has any 2 for 1 deals. I hope this helps.
Blake