Dear Blake,

I have a problem I just can’t identify. I suppose it’s a combination of a lot of issues. I live with my boyfriend and work from home. When it comes to patience about almost anything, I have the shortest fuse. Simple things trigger me, and I flare up quickly.

If I see someone driving faster than me on the road, I resent it. Something on TV or even the wrong food will trigger me. My boyfriend takes the brunt of it. Other than my lack of patience and flying off the handle, everything is going relatively well. How can I get a grip and stop overdoing it when I get angry?

Signed, Charlotte
From Dayton, Ohio

*                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *

Dear Charlotte,

It sounds to me like you some serious issues with your temper. If this started when you were a little girl, I would have a major problem with your parents if back then, they didn’t regularly slap you silly. Any, here’s some of my advice. If some is driving faster than you, then you should start driving even faster. Once you get enough speeding tickets and your license revoked, your out-of-control hostility will eventually subside. If something on tv offends you, kick the screen in. The combination of you, injuring your feet, constantly having to buy new tvs, and occasionally getting electrocuted, should get you to rethink your anger management issues. If a restaurant gives you the wrong food, throw it on the floor. When that happens enough, you’ll be banned from all dining facilities in your town, and you’ll be a lot calmer eating predominately cold cuts… at home. And lastly, if you continue to verbally abuse your boyfriend, eventually he’ll leave you. Hopefully without incident, because if he strangles you and ends up on Dateline, it will be the first time the audience will be cheering for the suspect. I hope this helps.

Blake