Dear Blake,

I have been friends with a woman I’ll call “Blanche” for 40 years. We used to work together, and we supported each other during our divorces and other life problems. We lost touch for a time, then reconnected. I kept in touch with her for years through email at her work. We both are on Facebook, and she knows how to contact me.

Since she retired six months ago, I haven’t heard from her. She comments online and “likes” things I post, but that’s it. I have now blocked her and moved on, which may seem harsh, but the story is too long to explain. I was depressed early on, but I’m over it now. I had to accept that she no longer wanted to continue our friendship. And yes, we have discussed this before. Am I wrong to let it go and move on?

Signed, Frederick
From Columbus, Ohio

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Dear Frederick,

There can be a number of reasons why she hasn’t contacting you. And all of the possibilities are equally disturbing. Here are some possibilities. Maybe she feels you were the cause of her divorce, and talking to you reminds her of the loser she was once married to. Or, it could be now that she is retired, she likes not being to able to look at you when she came to her job, because there is something about your appearance that makes her sick. Or maybe this one. Did you “like” something on Facebook that offended her? For instance, Blanche stating that she fell down and needs a hip replacement, or maybe she got arrested for a DUI? And lastly, this possibility. It could simply be that Blanche has dementia, and she has a major memory loss. If that’s the case, use it to your advantage by calling her, letting her know how much she has hurt you, and you should use words that are vicious in the most insensitive way imaginable. You should do it daily, because she’ll probably forget about each incident a few minutes after you hang up. I hope this helps.


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