Dear Blake,
I’ve been married for more than 30 years. My husband and I split all bills and everything else. This has worked because, in life, I have always taken care of myself. My issue is his cheap attitude about every little dime. He always makes sure I pay my fair share to the penny, but when it comes to his reimbursing me, he usually rounds down to the dollar.
While he’s tight with the family, he’s generous to everyone else. He is generous not only with his money, but also his time. His stinginess toward me makes me feel I’m unimportant to him. (I am very generous to him.) Why are our family and I lowest on his priority list while he’s so generous to everyone else?
Signed, Marissa
From Arlington, Texas
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Dear Marissa,
I have no idea why your husband is so frugal with you. It sounds like that due to his cheapness, he can squeeze a penny so tight, that heads and tails are on the same side. Anyway, here’s some tips on dealing with that miser. Start charging him for the time it takes you to prepare his dinner, and jack up the price if you serve any foreign food… like “French” fries. Or if you do most if not all of the cleaning in the house, charge him for maid service. If he refuses to pay, start letting the dishes stack up, and stop doing the laundry until mold starts growing on his dirty clothes. Or maybe this idea. Anytime you have to go somewhere, take his car and use his gas. If he complains about that, start taking your own car, and keep your tank filled by syphoning the gas out of his car to yours. And lastly, this suggestion. While in bed if he wants intimacy, tell him that’ll be $200.00. If he said that is considered prostitution, emphasize that you can’t be labeled a hooker, because you have no intention of robbing him after he falls asleep. And if you do take all of his money and credit cards while he’s snoring, tell him you didn’t lie to him because it wasn’t your original “intention”, and you ripped him off to compensate you for his pathetic “performance”, if you know what I mean. I hope this helps.
Blake